We've Come Far, and We Still Have Far To Go
In the early sixties, my brother Roger was diagnosed with autism. When my parents,
Shirley and Al, were advised to send him away so he wouldn’t be a “burden,” they rejected that suggestion instantly. Their advocacy was kind and fierce: This is Roger. He belongs with us. He belongs in the world. We love him—and you will too.
In the early 80s, my mom joined the JCC “Special Needs Committee,” run by Sara
Portman Milner—also a sibling to someone with a disability. Sara’s brother, Sam, of
blessed memory was born with Down Syndrome. After meeting Sara, my mom
begged me to work at Camp JCC “just for one summer.” Saying no to Shirley was impossible, and – after meeting Sara, I knew it wouldn’t be just one summer – it has now been 40 summers.
People often ask what keeps me coming back.
Recently, one of my Lessans Camp JCC colleagues told me that a camp parent tearfully told her that Lessans Camp JCC is the ONLY place that her daughter with disabilities is accepted. While I felt proud, I also felt sad and disgusted. How did we come to live in a world where we choose whether or not to ACCEPT the existence and inclusion of another human being? Who decided on the standard by which we are each measured?
My siblings and I are all very different from each other — and Roger is not MORE
different from me or my siblings, Andy and Toni. We live in a world that values and
accepts some people more than others based on how they fit into some arbitrary concept of normal. We are – each of us – different from the next and we have been misled by well-meaning phrases like “I don’t see differences” or “we all are all alike inside”. Not only should we see differences, but we should also embrace and celebrate them. If we all had the same strengths and challenges, how could we ever help and support each other? We are NOT all
alike on the inside or the outside. Thank goodness.
Camp has a profound impact on campers and counselors alike. Our job as camp
leadership is to help our counselors thrive and become the best most authentic
versions of themselves. One counselor told me, “You taught me I didn’t have to
apologize for who I am.” Another wrote, “I didn’t realize compassion, a hard work ethic and positivity weren’t required at every job in the real world—I just thought that’s how work was supposed to feel.”
The small things are the big things. It’s the
butterfly effect. When Sam Portman and Roger Pollin were born, Sam’s sister and
Roger’s mom didn’t want them to change to suit the world. They wanted the world to
adapt and embrace them. One small favor for my mom became my career and my life’s passion.
We all have the power to lift up people 12 around us – and show them their strength, their value, and their worth. In turn, they may show you yours. Do this intentionally every day – starting right now.
We’ve come far, and we still have far to go. One day, inclusion will not be a program or
an option—like decaf or gluten-free bread or a side of fries. The question should never
be if it can be done, only how. We will get there. I believe it in my soul.
